October 31, 2004

Love & dating...22

After hearing from a few of her guy buddies, Joyce threw out this question: Is it true that women change after they go out to work? Why does it happen and why does a relationship suffer upon a woman entering the workforce?

Mel and I offered some explanation. We all, not just women, go through a big transition going from student to working. When you start working, you are starting to be a greenhorn again, in this big and unsheltered world. People don't usually give second chances, some not even any chance. There is no more majority; if there is, you don't belong to that majority anyway. You are a fresh grad. You are competing and contacting with people from all age groups all at once.

Step out into the work world and what do you see? People who slog at the same position for half a decade, people who climbed up the corporate ladder and is leading a whole department at the age of 26 (3 years after graduation), people who earns 3K within a year of graduation, people who are still hanging around with temp job assignments within that same year of graduation. Bosses who give commands like some military generals but do not know anything about executing their grand ideas. The truth that stares at you is, life can be very, very unfair.

You have seen how money is really not all. But you see too, that money can affect all your future choices. At the same time, doors of options are open like flowers in spring. A crossroad at every 50 steps. Where are you heading?

Back to the question. When a woman enters the workforce and leaves her bf in his final year of study, or when they are both just starting out together, one choice can make all the difference. How do you explain to your still studying bf that you love him but at the same time, know that your priorities in a partner has shifted? How would he accept that? It does take a lot more trust and patience than when you were both students.

Relationships strain and eventually sour when both parties either do not grow or do not grow in the same direction together. With all these new options and new crossroads, how do we make sure that our partner and ourselves choose the same roads or at least, roads that will converge at some time?

I don't want to stay at this crossroad but I don't want to leave you alone too.

Posted by 杏 cy （Jancy） at 15:05